Crystal Balls and Fearing the Unknown
Do you wish you had a crystal ball sometimes? I can’t be the only one who has felt this way. When you’re going through a hard season of life or trying to make an important decision, it’s normal to wish that you could see the future. It’s a natural way to cope with the unknown. In fact, many individuals that struggle with anxiety and anxious attachment have to work through their fears of the unknown. Not to mention, it’s very hard to trust the unfolding of your life if your nervous system and life experiences have been primed for fear.
So what can you do if you’re stuck living in what you don’t want because your unknown seems too scary?
First, let’s dive a little deeper into the systems at work here. If you were primed for fear and stuck in survival mode, you could spend your whole life grasping for something that might give you the illusion of safety and security. Often this causes us to live out of alignment with what our intuition knows and what’s actually best for us.
Transitioning and changing into the unknown is not something most people have an easy time with. Let’s face it, change is scary! You are not alone if you’ve gotten trapped in a loop of trying to control your life and, in this attempt, don’t allow for a natural flow and ease. Grasping for control and needing to know the future comes from the survival part of your brain that is more dominant in the left hemisphere.
But it doesn’t always have to be this way, and you won’t even need a crystal ball.
When you start to let go of the need for control and certainty, you will become more open to allowing life to be more of an unfolding. This doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s a magical process that I like to call a “trust fall.” You may start to notice that, over time, you allow people to leave your life more easily, making space for new people to enter. You might transition out of one job knowing that you can’t stay in an environment that’s not right for you. Maybe you exit relationships that you’ve outgrown instead of staying in them for years. And you might reach out for support in new ways and trust others to help you.
All of these are signs that you are able to cope with more uncertainty. Do you want a few more tips to help with uncertainty?
Be open to a million different possibilities. You never know when something even better will come your way. Start to envision that outcome. Make a list of what could go right.
Let go of the outcome you need to happen and just be in the intention of your desires.
If it’s not available, it is not for you, but something else will be. Try not to personalize this so much and just know that something different is on its way.
Seek the right support through transitions so you know you’re not alone in what you’re experiencing. You will have others to help you.
You’ve likely had more than one circumstance that you wanted to work out so badly and were crushed when it didn’t. However, can you recall a time when you were redirected, and something better came from your ability to let go, surrender, and allow for what’s meant to flow in?
It could have been that dream job you lost, only to end up with a better position at your dream company. Or that “perfect” relationship that wasn’t really working only to meet someone who might be more in alignment with you. Sure, the process is difficult, but can you recall any times in your life when letting go actually allowed new, better things to work out?
When you’re working through the fear of the unknown, you’re likely to face yourself. However, by slowing down and getting support, you’ll notice that the urge to control your future slowly shifts. You will find yourself more in the flow of life, trusting yourself rather than grasping for the illusion of certainty. You might even get to a place where the plain of possibilities opens, and you can be excited about what is around the corner. And you will eventually get to the place where you stop searching for a crystal ball and feel ready for every moment life has to offer you.