Ghosting in the Digital Age: What’s Really Happening When You Get Ghosted (Or Choose to Ghost Someone Else)

In our digital age, connecting with others has never been easier. The online space offers endless opportunities for interaction and intimate communication. But despite these possibilities, setting healthy boundaries with others can become really confusing as to how to create the space your body needs to feel safe when communicating with others.

Many out there “ghost” people as a way to avoid dealing with uncomfortable interactions. In my opinion, this is the hardest form of communication to be on the receiving end.

Ghosting according to Urban Dictionary is, “The act of suddenly ceasing all communication. This is done in hopes that the ghost-ee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone...”

Research originating from early studies including the “Still-Face Experiment,” delves into the profound impact of disconnection, tracing it back to infancy. The feeling of being ignored echoes the primal fear of abandonment. It’s painful to think that someone doesn't care, and being ignored can wreak havoc on your sense of self.

Someone with an anxious attachment is even more prone to having a familiar sense that they will be abandoned, and so being ghosted can kick up deep-rooted pain. We know that expecting someone to respond right away or even within a few hours is not reasonable, but understanding where your limits are and building trust in another person that they will respond is crucial. In this tech-savvy world we live in, ghosting has been a toxic shortcut to avoid uncomfortable conversations, ultimately undermining the foundation of safe and healthy relationships.

If you are reading this and ghosting is something you resort to, I encourage you to explore more authentic forms of communication. Telling someone that you're busy, unavailable, or not interested is actually a much healthier way to express yourself to another. Looking at the fears that come up when you are this honest with another might put a spotlight on where some of your own inner work is. Typically, when we are honest and tell another the truth, we feel a sense of relief. Expressing your feelings openly, even if they’re uncomfortable, can foster deeper connections and mutual respect. While it requires some courage and introspection, the rewards of genuine communication far outweigh the temporary discomfort.

Now, if you are on the receiving end of ghosting, although it might make you peer into your own sense of self-worth, remember: this behavior isn't about you.

Rather than internalizing the person’s actions, focus on nurturing your sense of self and emotional well-being. Seek closure within yourself rather than from the other person. Validate your feelings of hurt and disappointment, but also remind yourself of your inherent value and worthiness of love. Surround yourself with supportive people and engage in self-care practices that nourish you. Take a moment to understand that ghosting reflects the other person’s inner work or communication style. Doing this can help alleviate the sting.

Despite our digital world, authentic communication remains the cornerstone of meaningful relationships. Whether you’re confronting your own ghosting tendencies or healing from being ghosted, remember to prioritize honesty and empathy. Because in the end, genuine connection is what we all crave.

So, as you navigate the complexities of modern relationships, just remember that true intimacy requires the courage to be vulnerable. Whether you’re struggling with communication issues, recovering from ghosting, or seeking to cultivate healthier relationships, my coaches at Be Self-full are here to support you every step of the way. Together, we’ll explore your fears, strengths, and aspirations, unlocking your potential for deeper connections and fulfillment. You can reach out to us here.